One of the things I am working on in therapy is learning how NOT to be a doormat and how to put my foot down. I am so afraid of conflict that I rarely speak my opinion, even when I want to. Lura witnessed this today with a discussion we were having. I am trying really hard to overcome this, it is just really hard for me.
Dr. K. sent me home with several notes she took during our session and I wanted to share.
"I am afraid of losing relationships if I respect myself or of not being taken seriously or hurting people. I have an automatic emotional response of guilt and choose to hold on to that guilt after the fact. I think I am responsible for others' feelings, and that they will read into things the same way I would - "I am a horrible person."
I really need help with this. By not standing up for myself I am suffering negative consequences. I am unhappy and it is having a negative effect on my family. I don't like being this way.
I have been this way as long as I can remember. I know some of it has to do with my poor self image. I am trying really hard to work on this and hopefully overcome it.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
Girl we the exact opposites. Maybe we could help each other. I don't care at all about what other people think. I mean I try not to be rude but I don't worry about what people think of me. You are so funny and adorable. I wish you knew that. We have never met but I know we would hit it off, you seem like a wonderful person. You are great, you just need to believe.
I don't think any of that came out right. I just think you are great and wish you believed that.
The one thing I learned (OK the biggest) when working at Ombudsman (alternative school) was you control no one but yourself. That includes how other people feel. The one thing you can control is you (sometimes not your feelings) but you can control the consequences others recieve. you do not control how others feel or recieve you, so work on that...or just talk badly about me.
Are you mad at me?
if we've been friends this long, and you haven't gotten rid of me yet, you should know there's absolutely NOTHING you could say that will make me not like you. maybe I'll get mad, and we'll have like, our 3rd fight in 20 years, but you'll ALWAYS be my friend. So, just speak up already!
I agree with Kellie. I don't think you really have to worry too much about saying anything that will make those of us who are closest to you mad!
I rarely EVER get mad a people for things. If I get mad I get over it pretty quickly. I used to worry so much about what others and myself said and thought and I used to feel so guilty about things. I don't much anymore and I'm glad because it does drive you nutso!
You are a wonderful person! You are fun and energetic and beautiful. You are a wonderful friend and you have wonderful qualities. Anyone would be lucky to call you their friend!!
And it's ok to get mad at a friend or have a friend get mad at you. It doesn't mean you aren't still friends!! It's like when you and your husband get mad at each other. You know you'll always love him and be with him. You are just mad at him right now. :)
all well said
Post a Comment