Flashback Friday

Miss you guys!

My new do.....

Well, here you go. For the first time in over 2 years I got my haircut. I feel really good. I told her that I wanted a cut that would disguise the fact I have no chin and that would not scream out frumpy mother of 4. I like it. It is a big change, but will be nice for the summer.

All who guessed Lura in the mystery person post may choose my neverending friendship or the mystery box!

I am working on my drawing of a colon for Debby, I think she will be impressed. I tried to give it pop up/3-D features, but had a bit of trouble. Maybe I will make it scratch and sniff.....

T-ball this morning was a bit more sucessful, thanks to Brian who kept the kiddos in line! I have a great photo of Tanis and the trio (maybe we should just consider them quads!) holding hands in and making a train. A little hard to catch the ball that way.

I hope you are all having a fabulous day. Enjoy the sunshine and non-rain!

Guess Who This Is???

Can you all guess who the mystery person? You all have seen him/her before....

My neverending friendship is the prize for the person who guesses right!

um...I hope that doesn't stop you from guessing. maybe I should offer a mystery box.

Okay - you can choose my neverending friendship or the mystery box. I had therapy today, so if the box is chosen I should be okay.

Today was safety town graduation. It was so fun. My kids were sorry to see it end, they made friends with the policemen and Fazo the dog! When Ty, one of the officers who we know, was making the opening remarks he related the story of Luke and the helmet. Luke got embarassed when everyone laughed so he refused to go up and get his diploma. Jonathan walked up to Ty, Mayor Lesch, and the Police Chief and said cheese the whole way. He was ready for his picture! Caitlin bounded up and shook everyone's hand and posed with them, Luke just sat there. So they came to him and presented his diploma. Then he put his feet up on the chair and refused to let the kids pass by him to sit down. What a stinker! He had an attitude all day, even before then, so he was already in a mood. But all in all the ceremony was fun and another milestone for the trio!

Gabe got went swimming today at VB and stepped on a bee. Ouch! He swelled a little, but handled it quite well.

The trio and I visited with Vic and the boys today for a little while. I plan on packing up my sewing bag and making a nuisance of myself next week. Hopefully she won't lock the door when she sees me coming!

Today I read the Father's Day card I had bought and signed for my dad 4 years ago. I think the day after he died was Father's Day, so it was all ready to give to him. It was a really funny card and I know he would have loved it. I hadn't touched it in 4 years but I thought it was time. I cried and went through the funeral things and sympathy cards I had received. I think it was a bit of a step in the healing process. I put them into a box and put it underneath the china hutch. I miss him lots.

The kids are finally asleep. It's 10:00. They refused to go to bed! Sean sent me upstairs because I was getting a little stressed out. I am going to go and spend some time with him now. Have a good night and a fantastic weekend.

Does anyone know when Cheryl comes home? I think she may have run away. Of course, she is on vacation, so maybe she is just enjoying herself....

Am I supermodel material or what???!!!

My niece, Scarlett, took this. I tried to post one of Sean but it wouldn't load. :(

Today, June 19th is the 4 year anniversary of my Dad's death. I was going to do a memory post, but decided against it, at least for today. I want to focus on happiness, not sadness. I will share a funny story though, then I will be smiley for the rest of my post. I guess this shows where I got my sense of humor.

One Easter Sunday we were pulling out of the driveway to go to Sunday school and my dad said "Look Girls! It's the Easter Bunny!!!" Well, Amy and I were just beyond excited and looked out the window only to see a bunny that had been hit by a car lying dead in the road by our driveway. Needless to say, my dad was in big trouble when we told our mom.

My dad woke us up one morning and said "Girls! Get up! No school today, we are going to Cedar Point!" Now we were excited. Not only were we getting to miss school, we were going to cedar point! This was huge! My parents are both school teachers, so this meant they were skipping too! We pulled on shorts and t-shirts and raced down to the kitchen. My parents were there and when we ran in yelled "April Fool's!" Oh, we were devastated. We were only in grade school so it didn't occur to us that C. P. wouldn't be open then. The most pathetic thing is that we fell for this several years in a row. It became a classic in our family.

For as much as my dad loved to play jokes on us, he loved to laugh at himself too. Sometime I will share the infamous St. Andrew's putter story, That one is definately a classic!

Today I had fun spending time with Gabe, Tanis and Kellie. Gabe was thrilled with having no triplets around for a change! We played with the pugs, showed amazing atheletic ability and coordination with Wii games and I got frustrated - and frustrated Kellie! with computer woes. I think Gabe would have stayed, and me too, to play longer if we could have. When I got home Sean and the kids were playing with the Hayley and Dakota from next door, in our backyard. Sean told me about Safetytown and Luke.

Today they rode big wheels and learned about bike safety. They also got to ride a bus and learn bus safety, but back to the bikes. Some of the big wheels look like police motorcycles so they had all the kids put on imaginary helmets for the ride. When they were done the officer told them to take off their helmets and get off the bikes. All of the kids did, except Luke. The officer walked over to him and said "Luke, take off your helmet and get off your bike." Luke said, "I can't. The strap is stuck!" He was referring to the strap on his imaginary helmet. Officer Ty said that Luke had the most serious look on his face and wouldn't get off until he was able to get the imaginary strap on the imaginary helmet unstuck! What a card!!!!

Tomorrow is safety town graduation. The trio is sorry to see it end. They have had the best time. I have enjoyed the time with just Gabe as well.
A friend of my mom's won a boy's bike in a raffle. She doesn't have kids, so she brought it over to my mom's for Gabe. He has a new (last year) bike so it is going to be kept at my mom's for Gabe to ride when he is there. I thought that was so neat. We are going to write a thank you tomorrow. My mom likes riding so she and Gabe are going to start taking bike rides.
I was excited to get my post card from Cheryl today! It was definately worth the 10 foot walk to the mailbox! It has a special spot on the refrigerator. Thanks Cheryl!
Sean got offered a 15 hour a week part time job today. He is taking it and will start Monday. So he will be gone from 6-3 and then 4:30-7:30. It means an extra $460 a month so that will be nice. I feel bad that he has 2 jobs and I have none, but he really wants me to focus on this class. I just wish there was something I could do to earn money. (Lura, I am not going to work in Fitchville!!!!!!!)
I am almost done with Sarah's cross stitch. I will post a picture when I am. Next I am finishing one for Lura and then I am going to start working on some dresses for Caitlin.
I guess I have rambled enough. Have a good night you guys!!!!

Special Post #2 - Happy Birthday Crystal!!!!!

Well, I had great intentions for this post. I had a fancy schmancy construction paper sign that said Happy Birthday Crys! on it and tried unsucessfully to get my kids to pose with it. Then I tried taking a picture of myself holding it.... As you can see, the above picture is not either of those. I may have to try again later. Anyways.........................

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY CRYSTAL!!!!

I was so excited when Sonya started the not so secret sister thing last year and I got Crystal. We hit it off right away and I feel I have known her for so much longer than just a year and a half. Crystal is an amazing person. She can turn negatives into positives - I love that quality in people - and can make anyone smile and feel loved! She is an awesome wife and mother and her family is so lucky to have her! Crys is comfortable with who she is and is not afraid to be herself and I admire that so much about her. Even though my kids only have met her once, she made such an impression on them that they still talk about her to this day! I love having her for a friend and am so thankful for her. Crystal is an encourager when I need to be encouraged, she provides me with smiles when I need them and I know that I can talk to her about all sorts of things from serious to wild and crazy and she will understand. She didn't even get mad when I accidentally spoiled American Idol results!!!! oops!

So Happy birthday my friend! I love you lots!!!!!!!

Happy 7th Birthday Carmen and Scarlett....

Carmen on the left, Scarlett on the right

Today my nieces turn the big 7! They are so excited about their birthday. These girls are truly a miracle. No, they were not conceived with fertility treatments, they are a miracle because Amy never wanted kids. When she called to tell everyone she was pregnant, no one believed her!!! Amy got so upset. Imagine what it was like when she tried to tell us she was having 2! Being the daughters of huge OSU fans is what gave them their names....Carmen after the OSU song Carmen Ohio and Scarlett after scarlett and gray! If they had been boys one was going to be Hayes - after Woody Hayes. We convinced them that Woody would not be the best choice!

I have to say that Amy turned out to be a great mother and these two little girls are such a joy and I love being their Aunt! We got to spend the day together yesterday and I took a gazillion pictures, I don't think Amy is that big on camera usage, so I always take tons! I plan on making special scrapbooks for each of them when they get older.

So, even though they don't read this - HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRLS! I LOVE YOU!

I have trouble expressing my feelings and thoughts in a "public forum" like this, but I feel the need to share something. I hope my words can convey my thoughts and you can understand what I am trying to say.

I had intended for my next post to be my special post#2, but that will come a bit later. I wanted to share what has been on my mind. There has been discussion on other blogs lately about some things that frankly have bothered me. Not so much the topics, but how I felt after reading them. Now I am famous for my ability(?) to read something and come away from it with the wrong idea...i.e. Dr. Dobson's Dare to Discipline where all I got from it was he recommended killing birds, and that the best way to die is to keel over while saying grace at the dinner table. So maybe I am way off base, but here goes.

I am a Christian, albeit a struggling one, but I am a Christian. My faith really took a hit when my dad died. I never turned my back on God, but I had and truthfully still have a lot of hurt and anger. It will be 4 years tomorrow and I have yet to fully repair my relationship with God. I am trying, I want to have to have that peace in my heart and my life that only He can bring, I just can't seem to grasp it. Sometimes I feel my prayers are just falling on deaf ears and I feel deserted. I deal with the thoughts of God turning His back on me because of my anger with Him. I want it, I just can't seem to get it.

The discussions on other people's blogs and actions of people have affected me in the following ways. I feel that I am a bad mother, Christian, etc. because I send my children to public school and because my kids all play sports. I hope that this is not the message that was being sent, but that is what I got from it. If me, a struggling Christian, got that from reading it, imagine what a non-christian or someone in my shoes got from it. Were they just turned off from God all together because they aren't or can't live up to those standards? I guess I don't understand some of the reasoning behind things that were said. Am I less of a parent because I don't homeschool? Am I doing my kids a disservice? Maybe some of the things were written on the defensive. That is a message I got as well. Did people (I am referring to comments by others that were cited- not ones made by any of you- at this point) feel that their ideas were being questioned and wanted to justify their actions? Also, I have really been struggling with people who claim to be christians that won't forgive grudges, or that belittle you-unintentionally as it may be, because you don't live up to what they think is the ideal as a parent, friend, Christian, daughter, sister..... I guess you could pretty much fill in the blank on that one. Why can't people accept that everyone is different?

I can only say I am sorry so much before it is no longer sincere. I can't take back actions or words that may have hurt someone. If they are a Christian, aren't they supposed to forgive? Or shouldn't they listen to the person who upset them and hear reasons behind the actions or words? I can't take back having pre-marital sex, drinking excessively, saying hurtful things, not being prompt with things. I can only learn from the mistakes I have made.

I am not able to quote scripture, but I always thought that as Christians we were supposed to love, forgive, and accept. I shouldn't have to go anywhere, especially to church wondering if I am going to be looked down upon because my kids aren't in brand name clothes, or my shoes are falling apart. I am guilty of my own "judging" of others and of myself, and this is something I am struggling with. I try to horribly justify my words with reasoning of "it makes me feel better about myself to think or say that..." I am guilty of judging a friend of mine on her choices. The same things that I complain of I find myself doing. If I were a strong Christian, would I do that?

I guess that is all I have to say. I hope that I was able to adequately enough express my thoughts.
This post was a big step for me in conquering my fears.
Thanks for listening.

Special Post #1 - Kellie and Brian's Renewal Ceremony

When I first met Kellie I thought she was a terrific person and I knew that our friendship was going to be one that lasted. When I first met Brian, I thought he was a bit mean and I didn't know why Kellie liked him. Apparantly Brian thought I was a bit strange (to put it nicely) and wondered why Kellie liked me. Over time I got to know him and my feelings toward Brian softened. After a few years I came to see Brian as a brotherly figure in my life (I think we bonded on our date to the Basket Festival and Red Lobster!) and someone who was worthy of marrying my best friend.

On Friday the 13th, 1997 Kellie and Brian were married in the most beautiful wedding I have ever been too. Kellie looked gorgeous in her gown with the long train and veil and Brian was so handsome in his tux with tails. Our dresses were hunter green, floor length and off the shoulder with a beautiful pearl tear drop pendant in the center. It was simply a beautiful ceremony. The reception was held at the conservation club and was decorated quite nicely. There was a lake out back that provided a pretty backdrop for pictures. I could look at their album over and over. You couldn't ask for a more perfect day for their wedding. Even a slight mishap with the ceiling leaking onto the dress the night before, I think Paula and I paniced more than Kellie! We all shed plenty of tears that day!

Fast forward 11 years to Friday the 13th, 2008. Kellie and Brian renewed their vows in front of a glowing audience of two. Me and Tanis! Although this ceremony was not large and lavish, it held special meaning for the two of them and I was honored to be there. They wrote their own vows which were sentimental and sincere, with a bit of humor. The love Kellie and Brian share for each other was so evident in the words they chose. It is also evident in the little things they do for each other every day. Kellie and Brian have such a special relationship and I am so blessed to have gotten to share in their special day, twice!

Happy Anniversary! I hope that the years ahead are full of the best life has to offer you!

Obla di Obla da Life goes on.....

Hi friends!

Today is a special day. 11 years ago I was priveledged to be maid of honor at Kellie and Brian's wedding and today I was priveledged to be present and official photographer at their renewal. I will post about that later, Happy Anniversary Guys! I love you 3!!!!!! Today is also special because it is Crystal's birthday. Happy Birthday Crystal!!!! Check back later on for a special surprise for you too! I hope that you have a wonderful birthday! Love you tons!

Things at the crazy house are going well. Yesterday I took Mr. Luke to the pediatrician's for a check up on his ears and to have his cough checked. He has another ear infection in the ear that the tube fell out and bronchitis. wonderful. We had a ball together though since it was just the two of us. I had taken them to the $ tree earlier that day and the trio got to get something for being good. Gabe was at Kung Fu Panda with Amy and the girls and loved it. Amy said it had a real good message. There, not as good a review as Char, but I didn't see it! Anyways, the boys each picked out FBI kits with handcuffs, walkie talkies, badges and suction cup guns and Caitlin got a Cinderella kaliedescope. So Luke took his goodies to the dr.s office and we were playing in the room while waiting for the dr. The clip fell off the badge so I stuck it over my eye and was Officer Pirate. "Arrrrrrr..." Lukey would just crack up everytime I did that. It takes so little to thrill him sometimes. Then I got a bit sweaty and found that I could stick the badge to my forehead and pretend it was a hat. So I am standing there with the badge stuck to my forehead with Luke in front of me with his hands behind his back reading him (to the best of my ability) his miranda rights and handcuffing him when the dr. walked in. Thankfully we were seeing Brigid who has a great sense of humor and she just laughed with us. Luke was in such a good mood for the appt. so it was worth it to make a fool of myself!
Yesterday was my dad's birthday. He would have been 67. Jonathan was upset that we couldn't call him to sing Happy Birthday, so we just sang and hoped it reached Heaven.
Gabe had a ball game last night and the coach wasn't there so our friend Joe was filling in and asked Sean to assist. He was tickled. Gabe loved having him out there, I think it made him feel extra special. He is really loving softball this year. I am so glad. Sean got him a regular softball so we can work on the catching. He is a strong batter, but a bit weak in the catching and throwing.
Sean and the kids are out at his parents so I can study so I guess I had better go and do that. Oh, did I ever tell you guys that I am taking a course in Medical billing and office procedures? I tried for several months to get a job after Christmas and no one wanted me. sniff. I think it was a blessing and God's plan because I love this course and am doing quite well. I was feeling down on myself because I tried everything from retail to dispatching and no one even called me for an interview. Before I got married I could apply for any job and get it with no problem. I did everything from Veterinary Assistant to Marketing Exec. for a radio station. Not even getting called for an interview was such a blow to my self esteem, but I think it is all part of God's plan for my life. I am excited about this and Sean is incredibly supportive.
I hope you have an awesome weekend and enjoy Father's Day. Look for my 2 special posts that are coming......

Luke's on my list....

This morning I had to run some errands, one of which was going to Big Lots (known in some parts of Ohio as Debby Lots) to get trash bags and freezer containers. So I am walking through the crowded store with Gabe and Luke behind me. I turn around to find Luke has been walking holding my skirt up with both hands exposing my bottom to the store! I was so embarrassed. In the parking lot I asked Gabe why he didn't stop Luke or say anything to me. He replied that there were so many people around that he didn't want to embarrass me by saying anything. NOT EMBARRASS ME????? And walking with my skirt lifted up for everyone to see my underwear wasn't????

Tomorrow has got to be a better day! And if this is the worst thing that happens to me this week I am lucky!

Monday you can fall apart.....

Caitlin, Scarlett, Johnny, Carmen and Luke on the swing at the farm. a set of twins and triplets~

Anybody know the song the title lyrics are from?

I had a pretty good weekend. Friday Kellie and I drove to Coventry to eat at the Mongolian Barbeque, not the parking garage. Although it was perfect convertible weather, we drove with the top up. Kellie was afraid the wind would cause my upper arm fat to flap and smack her upside the head. I didn't blame her, so we enjoyed the air. We also visited many, many countries along the way. Who knew Italy and Mexico were neighbors? Plus we didn't need passports! I think Kellie was impressed with the way I accept and handle diversity. ha ha! We stopped at a really neat toy store and browsed all the fun stuff. I cannot imagine why the Vanilla Ice trading cards were going for 50 cents. Personally I think that is still too much!! This store was filled with a little of everything you could ever imagine, vintage and new. I could have stayed there for a lot longer, and if it were closer to Christmas or Sean's birthday I saw a lot of things that he would have enjoyed! We steered clear of the corner with the rainbow suckers shaped like male body parts, although I got enough of a glance to giggle uncomfortably. I don't do well with that stuff. I get embarrassed by it easily! Thankfully it was located in a back corner and not in full view of the store! The food at the restaraunt was amazing. I felt like such a healthy eater! You could fill a dish with any kind of meat, chicken or seafood and vegetables and pastas-get a cup of any kind of sauce they offered and spices and nuts, and then give it to the guys and watch as they cooked it on this huge grill that was shaped like a donut. When you got back to your table you could choose rice or tortillas to eat with it. Plus you got soup or salad. It was yumeroo.

I tried to take a picture, but apparantly the flash reflected off the metal sheeting around the grill and blinded all of the grill guys. Boy, was I embarrassed by that! We had a really fun time, despite the bit of a detour on the ride home. I did get to show Kellie an ex boyfriends probation officer's block and we saw a big crane.....things we would not have gotten to view had we taken the normal route home!

Saturday Caitlin and I went grocery shopping and spent some girl time together and then the boys got sick. Blech. We had a throwing up fest that night and the trio and I stayed home from church on Sunday while Sean and Gabe went.

This morning I took the kids to pick strawberries. We picked 4 quarts and they did wonderfully! Everyone listened and cooperated! I was estatic! Then we delivered some berries to Sean's parents and my mom. Ate lunch with my mom and are now getting ready for Gabe's dr.'s appt. Tonight Gabe has softball and we may go to Valley Beach.

Have a great day all of you!!!

Happy Birthday Kellerie Ann!

We look like an ad for orthodontics!

Happy Birthday Kellie!

I hope that the coming year is one filled with adventure, laughter, love and everything you could ever hope for! You deserve the best and I hope that you get it!!!! Thanks for being the most fantabulous friend for the past 25 years! (My Goodness are we old!) Watch out for men under the car, posts that will jump out at you when you are driving, big birds, and hands on the windshields....

Pretty as a Princess

Caitlin wanted a makeover so I let her put on her own blush and powder and I did eyes and lips. She was so excited! It sometimes takes so little to make her happy.

Tomorrow is the last day of school for the kids. Gabe is excited about it. He is ready to be a 4th grader in the fall. Hard to believe!!! We sign up for the summer reading program on June 9th and all 4 kids will get to participate. I guess this means I have to return my month overdue library books. And I have about a dozen of them out too. I feel bad about it, but it completely slips my mind each day. The pathetic thing is that Sean took away my library card. He said I can have it back when I learn some responsibility. Did I marry my dad??!!! I am not going to hear the end of this for awhile from him. I just hope that there is no one else waiting for the books.

This is the month the I dread the most - Father's day, dad's b-day, parent's anniv., day my dad died...so many painful days. I may share more dad stories with you all as it does help to talk about him and remember fun things about him. I am trying to think of something to do for my mom. His b-day, their anniver., and the day he died all fall in the same week. Usually Father's Day does too. I want to do or give her something special. I have already done a scrapbook with memories and pictures contributed by all sorts of friends and relatives of theirs. Any ideas?

Sean goes to days on Fridays. That means he will be home at 3:00 all summer long. I am so happy about that. The trio starts safety town in 1 1/2 weeks and Gabe's first softball game is tomorrow night, unless it rains out.

I found out yesterday that my sister is moving her girl's to Maplehurst where she will be teaching 4th grade, so the triplets will be in Kindergarten, Carmen and Scarlett in 2nd grade and Gabe in 4th all at the same school. Nice for open house nights! I am going to be stretched thin being a parent helper and party supplier to 4 different classrooms! I really need to get organized before the fall. I am putting an extra-large calendar on the wall and color coding each child. Hopefully that will help. It will definately be challenging.

Sean and I are planning on taking the kids camping this summer. We really want to give them and ourselves some sort of vacation and figure that will be the cheapest route - plus it will be fun for all of us. There are several state parks and campgrounds in the area so I think that we will find a fun spot. We just won't go to Freedom Valley! That is the new "gay men" campground. Seriously, you have to be a gay male to camp there. I think that could be an opinion poll - Do you like the idea of a campground for strictly gay men? Whoo-hoo, I think that might be considered controversial. I go girl! It is about 16 miles south of us, not in an area where we drive through or near.

I have to confess another flaw I have found in myself. Maybe not so much a flaw as an undesirable habit. I guess that is pretty much a flaw, but I digress.... (*digress is the word of the week. I challenge you all to use it at least once before Friday!*) I am becoming a reality show junkie. This is what happens when you can't sleep. There is a lot of junk on! I cross stitch while I watch so at least I am being productive. In the past few days I have watched Living Lohan, The Girls Next Door (although I watched that to make myself feel brilliant, try it, it really works!), Rob and Big, The Real World, True Love with Tila Tequila(disturbing beyond words), Man vs. Wild, and Hell's Kitchen. I do balance these with Bill O'reilly, Nancy Grace and Greta. I really need to get back to the point where I can sleep, last night I was up until 3:30 a.m. and then could only sleep for 20 minute stretches while being up in between for a time. None of these are shows which I would ever watch around my kids, with the exception of Man vs. Wild. I guess that the fact that I am embarassed to admit watching the majority of these should tell me something.

I think I just had another breakthrough! I admitted to watching those and even though I wondered if you guys would think I was a horrible person for watching them, I still left them there. I am on a roll tonight!

Well I have rambled long enough. I want to go work on my poem for Sean. I like to write him goofy little love poems to brighten his day. That and I leave him notes with Fun Facts you might not know about Amanda. An example is "I do not speak fluent German." He sometimes justs looks at me like I am a nutball, but we have lasted 10 years so I must be doing something right!

My post yesterday was just me blowing off some steam. I didn't mean anything offensive by it. I am just working through a lot right now with my feelings and things. I have always lived worrying about what other people thought of me and it is a hard thing to break. I received an excellent email from a friend last week that really struck a chord with me and I am going to print it out and carry it in my wallet with me so that I can read it when I need to hear it. It said a lot about worrying too much what others think. Like it or not I do care about what others think and it can be really damaging. I have a hard time expressing my opinions & feelings because I worry too much about whether or not what I say will hurt anyone. I don't want to cause hurt to ANYONE! I disagree with a very close friend about sports and kids. (You know who you are!!!!) Yesterday the conversation steered in that direction and instead of engaging in a discussion as to why she feels the way she does and I the way I do, I closed the topic. Why? Because I was worried a difference of opinion would negatively affect our 25 plus year friendship? We are each entitled to our opinion, but I felt to disagree with her would cause her to become upset and I didn't want to do that.
I know I come off weak and uneducated a lot because I don't engage in "controversial" discussions. I worry too much about hurting feelings and possibly losing friends. Like I said, I am working on it, but I am no where near where I strive to be. I would love to put a post on here about something I feel strongly about with out feeling like I needed to apologize or add a disclaimer. That is not who I am, but that is who I want to be. But I never want to get to the place where I don't care about other people's feelings at all and just be flat out rude and judgemental. I feel that there is a very fine line in that area.
I pray that eventually I will get there. I figure it is at least a good thing that I recognize this is how I am and that I have the desire to change.
Thanks for listening.

My I'm tired post

I am having one of those frustrating moments.
I am tired of not being able to live up to other people's expectations, but I am more tired of the fact that it bothers me as much as it does.
I am tired of feeling I need to apologize for every little thing, even when I am not at fault, but I am more tired of the fact that I do it!
I am tired of letting all the little things bother me and make me feel worthless.
I am tired of people expecting more than I can give.
I am tired of people holding silly grudges,
I am tired of thinking I must have done something wrong everytime someone doesn't say or do what I think they should when I think they should.
I am upset with myself for the previous statement and for actually feeling that way!
I am tired of letting myself get walked on.
I am tired of not respecting myself the way I try to respect others.
I am tired of feeling I need other people to always like me and feeling upset when they don't.