Thursday, May 24, 2007

Frustration

I am having such a frustrating day. I need to complain.
I can't bathe my kids, I hurt them when I hug them, I can't cook them dinner - right now I can't spread pb & j on the bread, I can't color with them, going to the bathroom involves a great deal of flexibility and Sean has had to pull up my pants for me. It is so incredibly aggravating.
I am tired of people asking me what happened. I have been called dumb and an idiot. Three people have basically accused Sean of beating me. It is very humbling. I don't know how my left wrist was hurt. All I know is lifting the basket snapped it. It hurts a lot! Both hands, arms and wrists throb non stop.

I could just scream.

I need to look at the positives and remind myself of the good things. I can still snuggle, I can kiss and praise my kids - and husband. I can read books, kick a ball, walk with them. Gabe is thrilled to write his name on another cast, so are my nieces! I can still fold laundry - it just takes a bit longer. It's not all bad. I need to stop feeling so sorry for myself.

Thanks for listening. I needed to whine a bit.

I am going to learn a big lesson from this.

7 comments:

Jamie said...

Oh, don't beat yourself up too much. We don't realize how much we use something until we can't use it anymore. I think it would be incredibly difficult to go without both arms like that. I for sure wouldn't be worrying about folding laundry, I'd definitely be using the casts as an excuse for that!!!! Sometimes we all need a good humbling and hopefully you'll get through it with that great sense of humor you possess and before you know it, it will all be over!!

SamandSawyersMom said...

Whine all you want...goodness gracious, it is okay. Whine away baby.

I know this will teach you tons because when I was in pain and it stopped me cold, I really believed that i could "will" away the pain or "suck it up"...I refused to let it stop me...well, it still stopped me. no choice!I hated losing all that control (not a woman here who "holds it within")and I hated it. I tried to control my situation and do as I always did but I HAD to stop and rely on others ....and GOD. It taught me a lot. Try and use this to learn. Make a T shirt that says "My husband does not beat me...so shove it and break both arms while you are at it!" That ought to do the trick!

Char said...

Oh, you poor thing! It's ok to whine and complain! I would go nutso too. This is a good time to just slow down and reflect. Ask for help! There are lots of people who are willing to help you.
I think you should make a t-shirt too! Have it say something silly. Doesn't it just kill you how mean people can be and how unthoughtful?!! This will surely teach you to be more compasionate for others and not to judge people. I'm not saying that you aren't compassionate now or that you judge people, because it sounds to me like you are not like that at all. I am just saying it makes you appreciate that you do and will have 2 useful hands again and that your husband does NOT beat you!
(Did I just babble?? - haha! Sorry!)

Unknown said...

Whoever called you dumb and an idiot should be the one reprimanded! I can not believe that someone would be so horrible. I thought it was just your excuse not to help me move....no I don't have any news.

Cheryl said...

Girl most people couldn't handle what you do on a daily basis with 2 good arms. You just keep on truckin' so a little complaining is in order. You are an inspiration. When I feel sorry for myself because I don't want to clean up or do laundry, or because I can't have another baby, I can use you to inspire me. You deal with so much with such a good attitude and love and most of all a sense of humor. Good for you. Now you have 2 broken arms and you feel for complaining. You need to ask for and accept help, you need it and you deserve it. You are a hard working and loving MOM! You do the best you can and that is all anyone can ask of you.

Crystal said...

I agree with Cheryl!!! If you need to whine then by all means whine girlfriend! I would have thrown the white flag a long time ago but you just keep going.......I think of you alot when I don't feel like doing something. You inspire me more than you will ever know and I am always and will continue to pray for you! Keep your chin up!

SamandSawyersMom said...

I feel like I am at a Motivation Speech...it is great