Thursday, January 4, 2007

Feed a horse if you see one....

I had a roommate in college named Annie. Her real name was Akane Saito, from Chiba, Japan. She was a riot and we had so much fun. I'd post a picture of her - but you all know how I am at that. Maybe Lura will do it for me (hint.hint.) Whenever I'd leave to go to class she would always give me a piece of advice. Watch out for road construction and Feed a horse if you see one were two of my favorites. She moved back to Japan and we lost touch. Last I knew she was in "training" to become a geisha girl. I pray that she is doing well and I miss her. She crossed my mind this morning and made me happy. I always pass on her words of wisdom (?)!

Sean is outside working on our front sidewalk leading to the porch. He is putting in these really pretty red brick pavers. I am excited to see it done. He has so many projects underway. I was blessed to marry a wonderful man who knows how to do a bit of everything! He is also finishing remodeling our upstairs bathroom and added a half bath and laundry room to our first floor while I was pregnant with the triplets. He is so amazing.

I am having a really bad self image day. I feel so gross, overweight and unattractive. I am trying to start exercising more every day and eating healthier. I think part of it is the health problems that are making me feel so bad. I see the doctor next week to have my remaining ovary checked out. I am in a bit of pain and my belly is so bloated. It is my only ovary and I don't want to lose it, but if it makes all this go away I guess I would do it! It is silly, but I am worried about not being a "complete woman" and also knowing that if this ovary goes, I am finished with children for good. I am not planning on anymore, but I like knowing that it is an option. I feel so selfish thinking that way. God has blessed me with 4 beautiful kids, including a gorgeous little girl who told me this morning that I was her best friend!, and I shouldn't feel like I do. Also the idea of more surgery doesn't appeal to me. I shouldn't worry about these things until I know that I have to. Sometimes I drive myself nuts!!!

There I go rambling again...I am going to go and do something nurturing for myself and maybe a bit of exercising. I know that would make me feel better!! Take Care Everyone!



12 comments:

Char said...

A piece of advice for you: Cross that bridge when you get to it! :)

Hope you are feeling better now! Take a nice walk or take the kids to the park to play! Getting out always makes you feel better.

Hope your doctors appointment turns out the way you want it to. :) Take care and smile! :)

kellerie said...

You are a wonderful, beautiful person who is a terrific friend. you need to look in the mirror and tell yourself positive things every day!

SamandSawyersMom said...

I liked what Charity said. That made me laugh. Oh girl, don't worry about your body or your weight. I think if if would help your health fine but the vanity of it does NOT improve our lives. The fact that your little girl told you that she saw YOU as her best friend says it all. Your priorities are exaclty as they should be. I will pray for your inner peace.

SamandSawyersMom said...

Oh yeah I forgot to say that I know plenty of women with 2 ovaries who are not half the woman you are!!

Crystal said...

Amanda, where are you?

SamandSawyersMom said...

AMANDA???????????????

Crystal said...

I still haven't seen a horse.

Crystal said...

If I see a horse, will you post??

SamandSawyersMom said...

I have looked everywhere for a horse, hoping if I feed it, Amanda will be so happy that she will post.

Crystal said...

I found the dang horse and I fed him, now post sista!

Crystal said...

Amanda, please post a line or two to let us know you are okay......your blog buddies are worried about you!

SamandSawyersMom said...

How are you feeling??