Monday, September 28, 2009

Sunday's Happenings

Gabe is out there somewhere! The kids got ahold of the camera and took the pictures of the game.
Gabe is the kiddo with his hands behind his back. 51 to the right of 97.

Johnny's missing tooth
picnicing at my parent's house for Amy's birthday
Caitlin and Scarlett

Carmen showing her stuff

Luke, Jonathan, and friend Connor huddling while playing football yesterday at Gabe's game

Caitlin chillin on the side lines


Yesterday we went to church and saw our nieces, Carmen and Scarlett, get their 3rd grade Bibles. Ever since I can remember 3rd graders are presented with a Bible. I still have mine! Gabe got his 2 years ago and the trio will get theirs in 2 years. They didn't have junior church yesterday due to the Bible presentation, so we had our handsful with wriggling triplets. I was embarrassed and am sure that no one thought it was as bad as I did, but being the mom I can't help it.
After church we got ready for Gabe's game. They won big and he got to play part of the 3rd quarter and most of the 4th. He did really well and we were very proud of him. I still have no clue about football and no desire to watch any except what my son is playing! I guess I am so un American!
After the game we went to the nursing home to see Sean't mom. She should be coming home this week. I hope that things will be better, but I am going to have to see it to believe it. She has a lot to prove.
Then it was on to my mom's for my sister's party. It was an outdoor picnic. My mom and her friend had hosted a wedding shower that afternoon and we don't think my mom had slept since Friday. She over extends herself way too much. Something happened at the picnic that really bothered Sean and I. I don't even know how to address it with my mom, but I am going to. I am calling my cousin this afternoon to talk with her about it. To understand, I am going to give a brief background. Those of you who know my family will agree that this is true, I am sure.
My mother has always been called wonder daughter. This by her parents and sister. She can do no wrong in her parents eyes - it has been this way all of her life. Growing up my sister was favored between the two of us by my grandparents as well as over my other cousins, Christie and Tommy. This is no secret to anyone but my mom and sister and grandparents. My aunt saw it, my dad, my cousins, me. It was disappointing and very hurtful but it was how things were. Now that my cousins and Amy and I are all parents, the pattern continues. Amy's kids are the favored by my grandparents. They can do no wrong, everything they do is wonderful and adorable. I have put up with it, talking to my cousin when it gets really bad and grateful that my other family sees it too.
So last night at my mom's it was just Amy and Scott and the girls, Sean and I and the kids, my mom, and my grandparent's. We had been there for maybe 5 minutes when Jonathan went to talk to Old grandpa and we aren't sure what exactly happened, but Grandpa hauled off and hit him in the arm. Hard. It wasn't a little smack, it was a hard hit. Only Sean and I saw it happen. From what we could figure Jonathan went to talk to him and he was in the way. I don't care who you are, you don't hit my child. I went into the house in tears and my stomach was hurting bad. I told Sean that maybe it is a sign of a problem - you sometimes hear of behavior changes with dementia and things like that. I pulled myself together and went outside only to see my niece Carmen coming up to the steps that lead into the yard twirling hula hoops on both arms. My grandfather was going down and I waited for him to say something. He just smiled at her. Jonathan was at the bottom and stepped to the side to wait for Grandpa and he yelled "Get out of my way!" to Johnny. He wasn't even in his way!!! Carmen went right past him swinging hula hoops not even bothering to wait. My child did nothing wrong and got yelled at??? Are you kidding me? Then we are sitting at dinner and the kids were done eating and playing. Luke did something and I said 'No!" and my grandpa told me 'Your kids don't even know the meaning of that word, do they?" Amy's kids were doing the same thing, but I didn't feel it was my place to discipline them when she was right there. I wanted to get up and go at that point.
Am I wrong in being upset? What right does he have to treat my kids that way? They adore him and my grandma. I am noticing more and more the differences in the way my kids are treated than my sister's and I try really hard to let it roll off my back, but it is getting so hard.
Everytime a conversation was started about my kids, it would somehow turn into a story about Amy's kids.
Example. My mom asked how Gabe's game was. I started to talk and Amy interrupted to say what a great job her girl's did at soccer. I never did get to say how Gabe did. Then it was how do the triplets like school. I started to answer only to be interrupted with the funny thing one of the girl's did. Finally I gave up.
I love my family and want to do things, but this is a major reason Sean and I discuss moving away from here. Between my family and all the drama and crap in his family.
Am I just nitpicking and overreacting? Please tell me and be honest. I just feel so hurt. I am not so much angry, just hurt.

2 comments:

kellerie said...

sadly, no, i don't think you're overreacting. but please don't move away!!

i'm not sure how you address this, because it has gone on so long, i don't think your mom or grandparents, or amy probably, will see it as a problem. How did Johnny react? do the kids see what is happening, or are they still at the oblivious stage?
good luck, and I think your kids are adorable. hyper, perhaps, but adorable!

Carrie said...

I am sorry you had to witness your grandpa doing that your own child. I completely understand where you are coming from. Growing up my grandparents always favored my aunt's kids over me and my sister or my other two cousins. My aunt's kids (she has 5) could do no wrong in my grandma's eyes. Sadly today all 5 of them are messed up in some way shape or form because they have always grown up thinking of only themselves and thinking they can do no wrong.

I would definitely address the situation, and I don't think you are over reacting. As I was reading your post it was like I was reliving part of my childhood. It's not fun and your kids will pick up on it soon and later in life will have resentment towards your grandparents. I know I do.