Why oh why would I think taking the kids by myself to get haircuts was a good idea? Let alone taking them to the local beauty school to save a few bucks. Caitlin, Gabe, and Johnny were perfect and look fantastic. Luke still looks the same. I was mortified and never plan on going back again!
He refused to get in the chair and screamed when I told him to. So I got him calmed down and told him they would only use scissors, not clippers. He was okay with that so he climbed up in the chair. They tried to put a paper around his neck and he ripped it off twice and then grabbed the comb out of the ladies hand. Oh boy.
Then I took him out of the chair and I told him he was being disrespectful and would not be getting a haircut. He started screaming at the top of his lungs. I took him to the chair by the door and stood there with him. I had 3 papers to fill out for the others and he began kicking off his shoes. So I took them. Then he started kicking up the carpet, standing in the chair, knocking in to the wall and banging the gumball machine. I grabbed him several times to make him stop and at one point he screamed at the top of his lungs "Stop it You are hurting me!!!!" The nice gentleman across from Luke received several apologies and shot me several "Your life is pathetic" glances.
I didn't know what to do. I was trying to hold him while taking care of the others and he was screaming at the top of his lungs so I asked if they would mind if we stood outside where I could see through the window. He dropped to the floor kicking and screaming and I had to drag him outside.
I was mortified.
I sat him down hard on the porch and told him he had better stop with the screaming which made it worse. So I remembered I had Sean's phone and I called my mom to see if she could come and get Luke so I could be with the others.
When she got there and he was still screaming, I went in and apologized to everyone there and thanked them for the fantastic haircuts the other 3 got. They look wonderful!!!
My mom took Luke so I could take the 3 to the dollar tree to choose something and then we traded. I brought Luke home to sit in time out for a long time and she took the others to McDonalds. Luke will be eating a peanut butter sandwich.
What should I have done differently? I was at a loss. I know what I would have done if it had been just him, but I had 3 others there. I couldn't go and sit in the car and leave the others and I certainly couldn't leave Luke in the car alone. I also couldn't let the others leave mid haircut.
I had no one available to go with me, and I should not have had to take anyone.
I just want to crawl under the covers and cry. I am mortified beyond belief by this whole thing.
7 comments:
I think you did exactly the right thing. You did the best you could with the situation you were dealt. I think that Luke's punishment was warranted and hopefully he will learn from it. If not this time, then maybe one of the next times. Even adults don't learn most of their lessons the first time. They needed haircuts and you took them. You can't keep them home and expect them to learn how to act in public. I can guarantee that you worried about the situation much more than anyone else around you. Remember Isaiah knocking the display over in CVS. I was hot, I was red, I was angry. You did not care, nor did the lady who had to pick up the display. I can guarantee that it is always worse for the mother. It really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. They don't know your life anymore than you know theirs. If they judge you, so be it. We judge other people all the time whether we admit it or not. Try to keep the situation in perspective. Yes, it was extremely frustrating and embarassing. It's not the first time and it won't be the last time. Luke has a strong personality and God gave it to him for a reason. (That's what I keep telling myself about Tyler and Isaiah anyways). If we live long enough, hopefully we will get to see that strong personality work for good and not evil! Our boys may be important leaders or stick up for themselves in a difficult situation. I love you! You are a good mom and you can do this!
I agree with everything Lura said! You did the right thing by calling your mom. He was punished by not getting a toy and by not getting to go to McD's!!! That's good you stuck to your guns and hopefully he will learn from it.
I remember several horrifying episodes with Jacob. He is SO strong willed. I cried MANY tears over him and he's still alive, I mean I'm still alive! ha!
He used to throw fits and honestly, he still does at times. I know he will need his strong will and determination to make it in life. Kids like these need a firm hand and need consistancy and follow thru. If I let up ONE time with Jacob, he will push it and take full advantage of it. He still makes me mad, but it is a lot better than it was.
I read somewhere where a mom would take a small sign with her to stores with her children. If one of them threw a fit she would put the sign down on the floor where the child was for everyone to see. The sign said "Fit in Progress", or something like that. haha! I thought it was a great idea. It takes the focus off of you and onto the child and the child (hopefully) will be embarrassed by the sign. Honestly, I didn't think it would work with Jacob and I never used the idea. But I did think about it several times.
You are a great mother! Just relax and don't be so hard on yourself. He will push and push and you let him know who is boss tonight.
I agree with the other two. hopefully, Luke will be upset enough by not getting to pick a treat and not getting to go to McDonald's that he will improve in the future.
I cannot imagine how hard it is to have 3 of them the same age. Some days just dealing with one is way too hard.
I think you responded the best you could. Don't be so hard on yourself!
I was going to say alot of the same things Lura said. You did the right thing Amanda, just stay consistent with it and he will eventually learn that he is not going to get his way by acting that way. LOVE YOU!!!! You ARE a wonderful person, mother and friend!
I think you did the right thing and the man who gave you the looks must not have children or grandchildren because he (or anyone else that has children) would understand.
I would have done the same thing by not letting him getting McDonald's and (obviously) not getting a special toy like the others did.
You're a great mom and you did the right thing.
I think you did everything you could. I am sorry it was such a bad experience but hey 3 out of 4 isn't bad!!
I agree with the other women.
I will add that I find that it is the daily trials with my kids that need work. What I mean is if I ever tell my kids, by my actions, that it is okay to act a fool then they will again even when it is in public! Sometimes I allow a little more here or there becaue we are home or because I am busy, sleepy, tired hungry..whatever. It always bites me in the butt. I hate that we can't let up a minute but that is the way it is, at least with my boys. If no is no out in public or for another reasn, it is always NO. Then, when we are in public, I can HOPE that they will remember that Mommy means what she said.
I am not a huge DR. Phil fan but one thing he says always struck SOOOO true for me and I try (notice I said try) to live by it. He said "your children should be able to predict your reaction 100 percent of the time". I love that. If they know ahead of time that you won't put up with it, you will get less and less of that behavior. You gave him big consequences and I am sure he knows now not to do it again. If he does, and you do the same thing, he will eventually get it.
My famous line to my boys when they are screaming when I say no is::: Has that ever gotten me to change my mind?? Steve says it too and they almost always stop. They remember that it doesn't work. Good job!!
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