Some Reasons I am Happy Today!

1.) The kids homework is all done and put in their backpacks for tomorrow, we have read 2 books, Gabe is getting ready for football and the rest of the night is free time!

2.) I spent 3 hours studying math today. Although later it turned out that I studied the wrong chapter, in fact I don't even have to know this one, I can now do compound and simple interest and figure out how much you need to save today for a purchase 5 years from now with calculating the changing cost of the US dollar.

3.) I am wearing Cheryl's Lady and the Tramp shirt and it makes me think of The Weidenweber's and smile everytime I look down! :)

4.) It is fall and we are planning our yearly orchard trip for the fall harvest days.

5.) I am one day closer to a job! Figure that today is one day closer than yesterday and tomorrow will be one day closer than today.

6.) I actually understand that last statement! How smart I feel!!

7.) I began a halloween cross stitch for a Christmas present for the sister in law that likes me! It is going to be neat and she will love it!

8.) I have begun compiling a list of things that I want to make, give, and/or do for people. It makes me feel so good to do things for others and I want my kids to find the joy in it as well.

What A Day!

What a day this has been! It was a hectic morning getting the kids off to school and I was really testy with Sean. I felt bad about it, he had no clue why, but I knew. You'll find out later.
Yesterday I went to the dentist because I have a lump under my jaw that is very tender. I assumed teeth issues, so I got in to see Dr. Adam. He did an exam and xray and said he didn't think it was anything dental but wanted me to see my fam. doctor, so I got an appointment for this morning.
After getting the kids off to school I went to the appointment. First I got on the scale and there was a 10 pound weight gain! That about did me in. The nurse said that the scale always weighs heavy, but I always weigh on that scale, so it was a 10 pound gain regardless. I told her why I was there and she put me in an exam room. I sat for a few minutes and then started crying! It was awful, I couldn't stop the tears so I just sat and cried! The doctor came in and asked what was wrong. I was so embarrassed! She went and got Kleenex and I told her - "I know it's not why I am here, but I don't think my anti-depressant is effective anymore." She said "Really?!" and smiled. I told her how I have cried so much over the past months and have just felt so down. That I am not able to be the mother I need to be and take care of my family because I can't take care of myself. She listened while I went on and then said that because I suffer from chronic depression medications won't always stay effective. Instead of changing medications again, she is adding a new one. The side effects are Parkinson's like tremors and medication induced diabetes, but they will monitor me very closely. She thinks it will really help me to have this combination.
Then we discussed my lump which is a swelling of the sub-mental lymph node (and yes, we caught the humor in the name!) I told her that the enlarged lymph node in my armpit probably just got tired and moved up. Doubtful. So they will be monitoring this as well, but think it is probably nothing.
So then I told her that I had one other thing to discuss and I held up my swollen, bruised hand. Last night while I was doing homework with Gabe, the triplets were in bed screaming and fighting, Jonathan threw up because I gave him cough medicine, Caitlin had a tantrum over where she was going to sleep, etc. I said "I am just one person! I can't do everything at once!!!" and I pounded my fists for emphasis on the desk. Well, apparantly when you have already fractured a hand, something like that can cause injury again. Huh. So she ordered an xray at the hospital.
I go to leave. I am a mess from the crying, feeling huge from the weight gain, and babying my hand just hoping to make it through the waiting area and out to the car without calling any attention to myself. I did real well until I got to the door. There was a drug rep coming in with many bottles of pill samples stacked in a pyramid on a tray. I held the door for him and as I was closing it somehow managed to hit his tray and the bottles went flying. The waiting room was full and there was not a sound. So I apologized and helped pick them up with tears starting again and make it to my car before the sobbing hits. I get home and tell Sean what happened at the appt. including showing him my hand which I had kept from him. He was so good about everything and held me while I cried for several more minutes. I told him I could go to the hospital alone so he could finish mowing the lawn.
I get there and wait to be called to the window to sign the papers. Again it is a crowded waiting room and I am sitting there with red ringed eyes and the nasty crying look just hoping no one pays any attention to me. They call my name and I go up to the window. I adjust my coat and send the cup full of pens flying! Oh brother!
I finally got the xray and made it home without further incident. Now I am just waiting on the dr's office to call with the results. I am praying for a sprain. I really don't want to be casted again. I know I made it look like so much fun last time, but it really isn't!
The trio just got home and I need to make their snacks and Gabe's dinner before football.
Have a great day!

A good read

I am drying my eyes after finishing The Notebook. I don't often cry while reading, but this book brought the tears on! I recommend it to anyone looking for a beautiful love story.
Books like this strengthen my resolve to become a better person. I want to be a better wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister..... I want to be more selfless and carefree. I just need to do it and not just dream about doing it!
I am working on a list of goals, both short term and long term that I will eventually post on here. I want to be able to check them as I go and see my progress - maybe even give myself a sticker!

May you all have a wonderful night and go to sleep knowing that you are loved and special!

Turning over a new leaf..

I have been a bit of a negative Nellie in my last few posts. So today I am going to focus on positive and happy things to share. I haven't done a counting my blessings in awhile, so it will be a long those lines.

Today I woke up thankful for my children and husband. Even under the weight of 3 kids and one on the floor, I was thankful for their love and cuddles. We are trying to keep them in their rooms, but sometimes it is nice to wake up to a little arm pulling me close to kiss me awake.
My friends give me reason to be thankful everyday. My childhood friends who have stayed by my side through adulthood and my new friends found in the wonders of cyberspace. I love each an every one of you and am so grateful for the opportunity God has blessed me with to know each of you.
I am so happy that fall has arrived. The crisp leaves, the cooler temperatures, the autumn sky...this means apple orchards, jumping into leaves and halloween are close at hand.
I love a good book and was able to trade for 3 new to me ones at the used book store yesterday. All I had to pay was tax! What a treat for me!
The laughter I get to enjoy everyday watching the triplets get off the bus. They are such riots sometimes. I am also thankful for their bus driver Miss Regina, who I have known since kindergarten. She is a strong Christian now and I feel so comfortable with my kids riding with her and they absolutely adore her!
I am thankful for the miracles we get to witness in everyday life.

I want to offer apologies to anyone who may have felt offended or brought down by my last few posts. I just need to air my frustrations at times and I appreciate having this way to do it. I don't mean to sound as if everything is horrible, because it's not! I am blessed to have the life I do. I look for opportunities to help other's in little ways each day or to bring someone a smile and that makes me feel wonderful! I praise the Lord for the healing he has brought to me and to my family.
I love you all very much!

Sunday's Happenings

Gabe is out there somewhere! The kids got ahold of the camera and took the pictures of the game.

Gabe is the kiddo with his hands behind his back. 51 to the right of 97.

Johnny's missing tooth

picnicing at my parent's house for Amy's birthday

Caitlin and Scarlett

Carmen showing her stuff

Luke, Jonathan, and friend Connor huddling while playing football yesterday at Gabe's game

Caitlin chillin on the side lines

Yesterday we went to church and saw our nieces, Carmen and Scarlett, get their 3rd grade Bibles. Ever since I can remember 3rd graders are presented with a Bible. I still have mine! Gabe got his 2 years ago and the trio will get theirs in 2 years. They didn't have junior church yesterday due to the Bible presentation, so we had our handsful with wriggling triplets. I was embarrassed and am sure that no one thought it was as bad as I did, but being the mom I can't help it.

After church we got ready for Gabe's game. They won big and he got to play part of the 3rd quarter and most of the 4th. He did really well and we were very proud of him. I still have no clue about football and no desire to watch any except what my son is playing! I guess I am so un American!

After the game we went to the nursing home to see Sean't mom. She should be coming home this week. I hope that things will be better, but I am going to have to see it to believe it. She has a lot to prove.

Then it was on to my mom's for my sister's party. It was an outdoor picnic. My mom and her friend had hosted a wedding shower that afternoon and we don't think my mom had slept since Friday. She over extends herself way too much. Something happened at the picnic that really bothered Sean and I. I don't even know how to address it with my mom, but I am going to. I am calling my cousin this afternoon to talk with her about it. To understand, I am going to give a brief background. Those of you who know my family will agree that this is true, I am sure.

My mother has always been called wonder daughter. This by her parents and sister. She can do no wrong in her parents eyes - it has been this way all of her life. Growing up my sister was favored between the two of us by my grandparents as well as over my other cousins, Christie and Tommy. This is no secret to anyone but my mom and sister and grandparents. My aunt saw it, my dad, my cousins, me. It was disappointing and very hurtful but it was how things were. Now that my cousins and Amy and I are all parents, the pattern continues. Amy's kids are the favored by my grandparents. They can do no wrong, everything they do is wonderful and adorable. I have put up with it, talking to my cousin when it gets really bad and grateful that my other family sees it too.

So last night at my mom's it was just Amy and Scott and the girls, Sean and I and the kids, my mom, and my grandparent's. We had been there for maybe 5 minutes when Jonathan went to talk to Old grandpa and we aren't sure what exactly happened, but Grandpa hauled off and hit him in the arm. Hard. It wasn't a little smack, it was a hard hit. Only Sean and I saw it happen. From what we could figure Jonathan went to talk to him and he was in the way. I don't care who you are, you don't hit my child. I went into the house in tears and my stomach was hurting bad. I told Sean that maybe it is a sign of a problem - you sometimes hear of behavior changes with dementia and things like that. I pulled myself together and went outside only to see my niece Carmen coming up to the steps that lead into the yard twirling hula hoops on both arms. My grandfather was going down and I waited for him to say something. He just smiled at her. Jonathan was at the bottom and stepped to the side to wait for Grandpa and he yelled "Get out of my way!" to Johnny. He wasn't even in his way!!! Carmen went right past him swinging hula hoops not even bothering to wait. My child did nothing wrong and got yelled at??? Are you kidding me? Then we are sitting at dinner and the kids were done eating and playing. Luke did something and I said 'No!" and my grandpa told me 'Your kids don't even know the meaning of that word, do they?" Amy's kids were doing the same thing, but I didn't feel it was my place to discipline them when she was right there. I wanted to get up and go at that point.

Am I wrong in being upset? What right does he have to treat my kids that way? They adore him and my grandma. I am noticing more and more the differences in the way my kids are treated than my sister's and I try really hard to let it roll off my back, but it is getting so hard.

Everytime a conversation was started about my kids, it would somehow turn into a story about Amy's kids.

Example. My mom asked how Gabe's game was. I started to talk and Amy interrupted to say what a great job her girl's did at soccer. I never did get to say how Gabe did. Then it was how do the triplets like school. I started to answer only to be interrupted with the funny thing one of the girl's did. Finally I gave up.

I love my family and want to do things, but this is a major reason Sean and I discuss moving away from here. Between my family and all the drama and crap in his family.

Am I just nitpicking and overreacting? Please tell me and be honest. I just feel so hurt. I am not so much angry, just hurt.

I really need a new hairdo....any ideas?

Here are a few pics of weirdness going on around here. The wood ones are from our acorn hunt. We found a ton and they were falling from the trees as we gathered them. Cool, and No one got hurt! It is a cold and rainy day here and the kids are going nuts. I wish they could go outside!! The trips are heading to a party in a few hours so Sean and I will have 2 hours of Gabe time. He is excited about it. :) I am getting ready to go and clean a bit, just procrastinating some. Hope you are all having a great weekend.

How disturbing....

I have come to the conclusion this morning that one of the most disturbing things I have ever seen/read is my ex boyfriends facebook page. We have become friends again - Sean doesn't care - possibly for the fact that the ex is now gay! I am not talking the hmmm....maybe he is kind of gay, I am talking about the flaming, bright neon sign abouve him declaring it kind.
It is just so odd to see the guy I once new in a totally different light, and it sickens me to read some of the things he says.
I am happy that he is happy, but ewww.........

Anyone else have this experience?