I'm just a postin fool......

Two in one day. It must be the new meds! :)
I have been wanting to blog about something that happened a couple of weeks ago. You all know that Gabe has his night terrors. They occur every night, usually twice but sometimes up to a half a dozen times. He never remembers them and is incoherent a lot of the time when they occur. The one night I am referring to he woke up screaming and Sean went in to calm him down. He was sobbing, tears running down his face and saying he wanted to see Mom. So I went in there and it was like he couldn't see me. He then started screaming 'I killed her, I killed her!!' Sean and I tried to get him to stop, but he was out of control crying and screaming. Then he said 'I'm afraid I'm going to hurt her! I'm afraid I'm going to hurt her!' I was shocked. To hear my child say he was afraid he killed me and then he was afraid he was going to hurt me just crushed me. It took forever to calm him down. He hasn't said anything like that since that night, but frankly it scared me! I guess living with a child who has no self control and who wakes up screaming every night and not remembering it will do that to you. He goes to the psychiatrist on the 4th of next month and I am going to mention it then.
I just feel so lost about what to do with him. I also feel so bad that he has to go through this. He really is a great kid. Today he broke out in either a rash or some acne on his chin and around his left cheek. All I could think was that my poor kid who already suffers anxiety disorder and horrible teeth is now going to get pimples. He is going to be a bully's dream! That and I got an email from his teacher that said when he opened his locker stuff fell onto the girl's below and they are complaining that he is so messy. He just can't win! Orthodontics are starting in the early spring, when I am working and income tax comes in. I can always get him to a dermatologist if needed, and I am working at being more organized so he can have a better example.
I am really rambling.
I also realized that my previous post sounded really whiney and pity partish. That isn't how I intended it. It is just all my random thoughts spilling out.

Just another Manic Monday.....

Actually I am not manic, nor am I bi-polar, but boy do I feel like it sometimes! I have mood swings left and right, although they are getting better now that my body is adjusting to this new medication. Chronic depression can be a horrible thing. It wreeks havoc on your emotions, your physical and mental well-being. Add panic attacks to that and you have a hot mess!
I haven't noticed any of the tremors, and there was no sugar present in my urine at the last dr's. appointment. They will be doing blood work in two weeks I believe, just to be safe. I do know that I am not crying nearly as much and I feel generally happier. She upped my dose of the new med. from 2 mg. to 5 mg. That is the average dose for it as an anti-depressant booster.
I took my math final and got a B!!! I am so happy about that. I spent 3 days working on the 50 questions. They were a b*&%!!! I feel so drained from it all. Tonight I start the next section. I need to get this wrapped up.
Sean and I are so strapped right now. It wasn't bad until we started having to pay for all the medical extras. We have spent over one hundred in copays this month. Yes, just October!!! Then you add in meds. and xrays and you have a lot. I don't know what we are going to do, but I am trusting in God. What really stunk is when I put a winter coat on Johnny and it was too short. The sleeves were 3/4 on him! I think Sean's parents are going to buy the kids winter coats for an early Christmas present. Thankfully I have one for Gabe that I found at a garage sale!
I look at all the hardships we have faced and I think that someday we are going to really be able to help someone or many people in need. That is a goal I have. I don't care if we are rich, I just want to be able to be comfortable and not live pay check to pay check. I want to make a difference and do something that is going to help others. That is my mission, I don't want to die (many, many years from now) and have my children wondering what I did to make a difference. Know what I mean?
Have to go. Still wanting to post about something, but will have to do it later! Love you all and hope your days are wonderful!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday about ten in the morning I got so sick! I just layed on the bathroom floor sweating and shaking, it was horrible! Then, the cable was out for over 12 hours and I was alone with the kids....it was such a bad day! Thankfully today is better. I think I had food poisoning. I had no fever or anything, but undescribably severe stomach cramps and other issues. TMI, I know!

Today the kids didn't have school and decided they needed to be up before 7 this morning. I was not happy :(. I don't think they get this sleeping in thing.

Sean is on his way to the nursing home to take his mom home. She has been in the nursing home and/or hospital since March! I hope that this time she does what she is supposed to. I'll believe it when I see it. I am not trying to be negative, but we have all seen how she has done. This time she lost her toes and a portion of her foot....next time I don't think she'll make it out alive.

I am working hard on Christmas gifts. I have also been getting a few things here and there on clearance for the kids. I can't believe it is only 2 months away! Where does the time go?

In a few weeks I am supposed to be going out to dinner with Rhonda and my gay ex boyfriend. That should be an interesting night and I am sure I will have some good pictures!! He is a trip, for those of you on FB it is the Joseph Reed that always has the kooky comments.
I have a post I want to do, but can't right now due to the noise level! I hope to be able to do it when the kids go to bed. It is a venting, hunting for some sort of answer post. Is your interest perked or do I do too many of those type of posts?! :)
I hope you all have a good day!

What a Babe!

I made a sexy me on one of those avatar programs. I think I look pretty hot!

Day 5.5

Here is a shot of Gabe's ankle on this, the 5th day of sprainwatch 2009. He did go to school today so that was nice for his crazy mom!!!

The picture doesn't do show the bruising up the back of his leg. Ouch!

Do you know what?

Chicken Butt.These pics have absolutely nothing to do with anything, but I loved them so I thought I would share.

Gabe is slowly recovering from his fall. His ankle, foot, and leg are ugly shades of bruise. Black, purple, green.....It looks nasty. The doctor is letting him go to school tomorrow, but won't release him for football until next week.

Sean took and passed a course last week and is on his way to getting a class b cdl. He will be able to drive bus if needed now.

I am doing well on my new meds. I have no tremors, and I go to the dr. to get bloodwork etc. on Wednesday. I am actually looking forward to going because I think I have lost some weight and want to have it charted. I am noticing an upswing in my mood, not huge, but noticeable.

My youngest boys are busy losing teeth, when they are not stripping barbies and drawing naked pictures of the babysitter. I could just scream sometimes!!! Caitlin is in a mood because she is not losing teeth yet.

We got to spend some time with my sister in law and her family on Saturday. I got to hold my nephew, Sevastian, for the first time. He is 6 months old and I am just now getting to see him. Actually he is my great nephew - my niece Beth's son. He is adorable, I posted pics. of him on FB. I love spending time with Michele, you are always guaranteed laughter. She and her husband, Keith, are wonderful people.

My grandparents celebrated their 67th anniversary on Sunday. We had dinner at my mom's again. I noticed no odd behavior with my grandpa this time, just the normal. It was a relief. I never addressed the last incident with him or my mom. I just couldn't do it. I just wish I didn't feel so awkward around them.

Well, I am going to sign off and go relax and cross stitch for awhile. Have a great night!

Fun Pictures

Lura, Kellie, Victoria, and Gretchen waiting for their chauffer.

Me, with the sexy hair bows, Gretchen, Victoria, Kellie, and Lura

Vic and Gretchen

Me sporting the fancy hairbows I got for Caitlin.

Gabe laying on the truck mad at me for something!

Caitlin and her fruit sticker

Luke and Johnny showing their missing top teeth. The red in Luke's teeth is the fruit sticker he pressed on them.

Luke and his fruit stickers.

Last night was the Garden Club Auction. Kellie, Lura, Victoria, and I went for a bit of a girl's night out. Tanis and the triplets were at my house babysat by my usual sitter K.C. who said she would do it again, so they must not have been too bad! We had a nice time, although I didn't get anything too exciting. I did get two hairbows for Caitlin. The candy corn one I love, the white and black one I am not fond of but no one else bid on it so I paid a dollar for it because I felt sorry for it.

Apparantly while I was picking up Vic and the sitter, Tanis planted a big smooch on Caitlin. This was after all the kids were looking down each other's pants and Luke was caught standing on the couch naked from the waist down. There is never a dull moment in this house, especially when the four of them get together!!!